Just give me a few minutes

He looks like a nice boy right? Good with his siblings, responsible, handsome etc. Well, he's all of those things but he's also 19 and prone to lapses in judgment. The most recent lapse in judgment came in February (well that we know of anyway). We decided to surprise dear hubby's mom for her b-day. We asked the ARSe (Aspiring Rock Star--eldest) to either come with us or to stay at home and watch the dogs. Hmmm, which would you choose?
Knowing that he'd take advantage (and not in a bad way) of the situation I acknowledged that his girlfriend would be staying over, I have no issues with that (sorry if I've offended any "abstinence before marriage" fans). We informed ARSe that we'd be back fairly early the next day as dear hubby had a client. Apparently because ARSe doesn't live with us anymore, he's forgotten what early really is. We came home to find:
1 good friend sleeping on the couch
1 good friend sleeping on the borrowed air mattress
1 empty bottle of wine on the counter
MANY empty beer cans on the counter
Fumes of cigarettes and other substances that I recognized from the time when I was 19.

I heard dear hubby say "Good Morning" to the sleeping lads in the living room. Like a Ninja, I grabbed the empty wine bottle and threw it in the garbage can while instructing the little kids to go to their rooms because I needed to help clean up and talk to ARSe. Soon ARSe was running out of his bedroom and requesting a few minutes. He must have been in a daze because I think he forgot that giving him a few minutes would only move things forward, we could do nothing to erase what we'd just walked in to.

It was a fun conversation to have with ARSe and his two good friends. I explained that I was thrilled that they all stayed in one place and didn't drive anywhere in the condition they must have been in (and probably still were). I also went further to let them know that I trusted them to be in my home and know that nothing would be stolen or trashed. I did unleash a bit when I got to the part about the little kids seeing and smelling what was in the house and the fact that dear hubby is a personal trainer and that it wasn't really exemplifying a healthy lifestyle to have our home smell of cigarettes and medicinal herbs.

There were tears from ARSe after I told him that Monkey Boy thought his brother was "smoking drugs". He confessed to feeling like a particular advertising slogan geared towards this exact scenario. Being a step parent is really great because I can try out certain scenarios and lectures and see if they work. If they do I'm storing them for the next child, if not I can discuss it with the therapist.

The past few months.

It's been interesting these past few months being at home. Once I finally got a job offer I was able to enjoy the last three weeks of the three months I was off and really be a stay at home mom, which truth be told, I'd do in a minute if I could. Yes, I did get bored at times, and I grew weary of hearing "Hey Mom" and then nothing and hearing yet another Titanic story that went like "Hey Mom, what if when the Titanic sank it.....". I also did cringe a bit when I heard dear hubby almost bragging about the fact that he hadn't done laundry in a long time (he's been very good about thanking me but still I didn't love hearing it), but overall, it beats going to an office every day. Picking the kids up from school, and being able to take time to do homework with them was much more fun than cramming it in on the weekend and arguing about the benefit of doing it all on the weekend so that the weekdays could be enjoyed. I also didn't love going to the gym after dropping the CHF at school. I had to be in the gym with a bunch of other women and wait to use the blow dryer and even the showers at the gym. Some people think I'm completely out of my mind for getting up at 4:30 to be at the gym by 5:00 but there are some huge benefits: It's quiet, no one is trying to hit on anyone at that hour, I never have to wait for equipment and I get to feel a sick sense of pride when the topic of working out comes up and I share that little part of myself.

For those of you stay at home moms who think they just can't read another story, wipe another face, make another sandwich, do another load of laundry, eat another piece of soggy cracker off your kid's face, think of me...I'm now driving only 27 miles to work but unless I go at 6:30 a.m.(which I did this a.m.), it takes me about an hour to get there (this a.m. only about 45 minutes). I no longer have the luxury of skipping a shower if I'm pressed for time, or wearing a baseball hat. I have to dress like a grown up in uncomfortable clothes and even more uncomfortable (but super cute) shoes. Once I get there I get the pleasure of sitting in a 5 X 8 cubicle (it's probably actually smaller), trying to figure out how to work the new system. Don't get me wrong, I know how incredibly lucky I am to have a job and to have found one so quickly after being laid off. I know, I truly am lucky, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but having been on the other side of the fence recently, the grass truly is greener on that side.

Anyway....I'm back at work and will likely be posting more frequently now that I'm pressed for time, so thank you Martie for telling me I have a fan club :-).