Just give me a few minutes

He looks like a nice boy right? Good with his siblings, responsible, handsome etc. Well, he's all of those things but he's also 19 and prone to lapses in judgment. The most recent lapse in judgment came in February (well that we know of anyway). We decided to surprise dear hubby's mom for her b-day. We asked the ARSe (Aspiring Rock Star--eldest) to either come with us or to stay at home and watch the dogs. Hmmm, which would you choose?
Knowing that he'd take advantage (and not in a bad way) of the situation I acknowledged that his girlfriend would be staying over, I have no issues with that (sorry if I've offended any "abstinence before marriage" fans). We informed ARSe that we'd be back fairly early the next day as dear hubby had a client. Apparently because ARSe doesn't live with us anymore, he's forgotten what early really is. We came home to find:
1 good friend sleeping on the couch
1 good friend sleeping on the borrowed air mattress
1 empty bottle of wine on the counter
MANY empty beer cans on the counter
Fumes of cigarettes and other substances that I recognized from the time when I was 19.

I heard dear hubby say "Good Morning" to the sleeping lads in the living room. Like a Ninja, I grabbed the empty wine bottle and threw it in the garbage can while instructing the little kids to go to their rooms because I needed to help clean up and talk to ARSe. Soon ARSe was running out of his bedroom and requesting a few minutes. He must have been in a daze because I think he forgot that giving him a few minutes would only move things forward, we could do nothing to erase what we'd just walked in to.

It was a fun conversation to have with ARSe and his two good friends. I explained that I was thrilled that they all stayed in one place and didn't drive anywhere in the condition they must have been in (and probably still were). I also went further to let them know that I trusted them to be in my home and know that nothing would be stolen or trashed. I did unleash a bit when I got to the part about the little kids seeing and smelling what was in the house and the fact that dear hubby is a personal trainer and that it wasn't really exemplifying a healthy lifestyle to have our home smell of cigarettes and medicinal herbs.

There were tears from ARSe after I told him that Monkey Boy thought his brother was "smoking drugs". He confessed to feeling like a particular advertising slogan geared towards this exact scenario. Being a step parent is really great because I can try out certain scenarios and lectures and see if they work. If they do I'm storing them for the next child, if not I can discuss it with the therapist.